First Round
#1 Virginia vs. #16 Gardner-Webb: THIS Isn’t REMOTELY AN EXCITING? MOVE ON LET’S JUST NOT TALK ABOUT IT. WHAT COULD GO WRONG? Select: Virginia
#8 Ole Miss vs. #9 Oklahoma: [long pause] Umm, Ole Miss? Select: Ole Miss
#5 Wisconsin vs. #12 Oregon: I refuse to select a Pac-12 team, and Oregon’s best win of the season was against Syracuse on a neutral court. Their defense is good, but the crime is not. That will not be sufficient to do it against Wisconsin. Pick: Wisconsin
#4 Kansas State vs. #13 UC Irvine: This is the bad combo of a sexy double-digit seed meeting a Power 5 college with injuries. The Anteaters beat upon the Big West Conference, winning both the regular season and conference tournament titles. K-State won’t have Barry Brown, meaning they will need to compensate for his scoring and game direction someplace. Oh, and UC Irvine includes a dude. MAX HAZZARD!!! Select: UC Irvine
#6 Villanova vs. #11 Saint Mary’s: The Wildcats are nowhere near the team they were last year when they won the tournament, but they can still shoot threes fairly well and should not have any issues with St. Mary’s. It is going to be close, though. Select: Villanova
#3 Purdue vs. #14 Old Dominion: LET’S GET CRAZY. Old Dominion over Purdue later Carsen Edwards has a quiet afternoon, while BJ Stith and Ahmad Caver move OFF. Select: Old Dominion
#7 Cincinnati vs. #10 Iowa: This is the yelling coach sport as Fran McCaffrey and Mick Cronin are known for their. . .fiery characters on the sidelines. Iowa has been leaking every kind of fluid down the stretch and are limping to the championship. Cincinnati takes it in a bodily, gritty game. Pick: Cincinnati
#2 Tennessee vs. #15 Colgate: Colgate has about as much chance here as an actual tube of toothpaste. The Volunteers are large, physical, and Tennessee moves on easily. Pick: Tennessee
Second Round
#1 Virginia vs. #9 Ole Miss: The Cavaliers are too much on both defense and offense since they’re the only team in the country from the top-5 in both on KenPom. Pick: Virginia
#5 Wisconsin vs. #13 UC Irvine: Wisconsin’s outside shooting goes cold and UC Irvine’s run in the postseason continues. Am I just picking this since literally nobody wishes to see Virginia-Wisconsin in the Sweet 16? Maybe. Select: UC Irvine
#12 Old Dominion vs. #6 Villanova: Cinderella’s ball is cut brief. Nova shoots ODU out of the gym. Select: Villanova
#7 Cincinnati vs. #1 Tennessee: CINCY VS TENNY IN COLUMBUS. Ok, fine, I will not call them“Tenny“ again. This one is really a brutal conflict, but Tennessee squeaks one out late thanks to a big play from Jordan Bone. Select: Tennessee
Sweet Sixteen
#1 Virginia vs. #13 UC Irvine: The Cavaliers have building confidence as they cruise into the Elite Eight. De’Andre Hunter, Ty Jerome, and Kyle Guy are too much for the Anteaters, moving them one win away in the promise land. Pick: Virginia
#6 Villanova vs. #2 Tennessee: The other match that I desperately wish to see. Finesse vs. braun. Villanova slows things down enough and gets warm from outside since Paschall has a big day at the paint. Pick: Villanova
Elite Eight
#1 Virginia vs. #6 Villanova: Villanova is worn out after a tough match with Tennesee and can not figure out the Bundle Line shield. It’ll be close through the first half, but the Hoos pull down the stretch. Pick: Virginia
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